Marilyn
OnTheTurningAway
Old Enough
Alone
At just twenty years old, I am at a standstill, wanting to move forward but firmly rooted in place.
Shouldn’t I be doing something more, something geared toward my future?
My mother thinks this summer will be good for me; a change of scenery, new friends, maybe a carefree romance to help me get over my broken heart.
She has always done her best to understand and accept me.
"You are my son, Jasper," she says. "I will never turn my back on you, regardless of who you love."
I suppose I should be grateful for the opportunity.
And yet, I feel alone.
~oOo~
Silver
Hours pass in a flurry of cabin assignments, general instruction and brief introductions between counselors for this summer’s session.
Pasting a convincing, yet plastic, smile on my face, I join a group of other college students sharing inconsequential details about our lives as we wait for the first staff meeting to commence.
I prepare to give my standard retort to the perky blonde who asks if I have a girlfriend, but I am stunned into silence as the lodge doors open.
I remember it all: thick black hair, angular features, slate gray eyes that shimmer like silver in the muted light.
Peter.
~oOo~
Impossible
I haven’t seen him in three years, yet he is as familiar to me as he was when I knew him as Mr. St. Clair, junior year Ethics teacher and object of desire for half of the girls - and at least one sixteen year old boy - at my high school.
He is more beautiful than I remember.
I still want him.
He takes his place at the head table and I notice another familiar face by his side: Charlotte, I believe, the girlfriend of said high school fantasy. Perhaps she is his wife now.
I am drowning in the impossibility of it all.
~oOo~
Unexpected
I try to make my escape after the meeting, but a tide of bodies carries me to the bonfire. We have three days until the campers arrive, more than enough time to start a summer fling or find a one-night stand.
I am startled when my cabin-mate Eric asks me if I know Peter. He says that Peter called my name as I was leaving the lodge. I tell Eric that Peter was my high school teacher and that I vaguely remember him and his girlfriend.
Eric gives me a quizzical look before saying, “Charlotte isn’t his girlfriend, Jasper. Peter is gay.”
~oOo~
Mist
Feigning a headache, I say goodnight to Eric.
I need to think.
I wander until darkness falls and the full moon lights my way through the haze of humidity. The sound of gently lapping water alerts me to the location of the lake and I turn to make my way to the water’s edge.
My vision is slightly hampered by soft evergreen branches, but there is no mistaking that it is Peter floating on the surface. My eyes follow the perfectly defined muscles of his abdomen down to the thin trail of dark hair partially covered by the water.
He is gloriously bare.
~oOo~
Watch
I am a pervert, a voyeur, yet there is nothing that could tear me away from the sight of Peter exiting the lake. My thoughts turn to inappropriate schoolboy fantasies, more vivid with a few years of experience.
Steady streams of water run down his muscular form as he walks to a blanket laid out on shore. Turning, he bends to pick up a towel and his gorgeous, firm ass is illuminated in the soft light.
Moaning quietly, my hand moves to my burgeoning erection, providing little relief from the ache of arousal.
I lose my footing. A branch snaps.
Our eyes meet.
~oOo~
Share
Wrapping the towel around his waist, he beckons to me.
I join him on the blanket. We talk effortlessly for hours.
Peter tells me he’s twenty-eight, living in Austin and helping a friend this summer. He says he didn’t want to leave the high school, but some parents made things difficult when they found out Charlotte would only ever be a friend.
I tell him I attend UT-Austin and that I came out to my mother after high school. I reveal that I was happily in love with Edward for two years, and then it was over.
He squeezes my hand.
~oOo~
Enough
Wrapping my fingers around his, my green eyes meet his steel-gray and I admit that I had a crush on him in school. That I still do.
He swallows. I lean forward, unable to resist pressing my lips to his neck. He inhales sharply.
”Jasper,” he whispers into my hair. “This isn’t right. I was your teacher. I’m old enough to be your...”
”To be my what?” I laugh, feeling light for the first time in ages. “My boss? My friend? My lover? I’m not your student anymore, Peter, and I’m old enough, too.”
He shivers and pulls me to him.
~oOo~
Courage
Our first kiss is gentle, perfect. The next is hungry, Peter’s lips, teeth and tongue laying claim to mine.
He breaks away, removing my sticky t-shirt before kissing a trail down my throat. His damp skin scorches my fingertips as I grapple to touch every inch I can reach.
Laying him down beneath me, I pull his towel loose and feast on his beauty. I tell him I want to taste him, but he shakes his head and unbuttons my shorts.
Taking each other in hand, we explore, learn, teach and he cries out my name as we reach our mutual release.
~oOo~
Sky
Peter cleans us off with his towel before wrapping us in the blanket, kissing me softly. Resting my head on his chest, I am content lying in his embrace. He buries his face in my hair, breathing me in, and I realize there is something happening between us.
He whispers that we can have this all summer, though we’ll need to be discreet. Nodding, I kiss his chest and he suggests things we can do together back in Austin.
There are no guarantees, but I am happy, hopeful.
The possibilities are almost as endless and the number of stars above us.
I smile.
Mmmm loverly! Thank you so much for this, bb
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